My Plans for the Zombie Apocalypse

Me: You know how in most zombie related things when someone gets bitten, the rest of the group freaks out, waits for them to change and then shoots them?

Husband (HB): Yeah....

Me: Yeah, but that's not very sporting of them is it? I mean, You've just become a zombie and now you're dead because someone got a little scared.

HB: Scared for good reason, zombies eat people, that's what they do best.

Me: Okay, so if it's what they do best, then not giving them a chance is not only not very sporting, it's a little rude really.

HB: What?

Me: Well, imagine that you're a zombie and your goal is to be the most amazing eater of people there ever was, but oops, now you're not even going to get to try attain that goal because someone shot you in the face.

HB: Zombies are mindless, they don't have goals.

Me: How do you know? Are you a zombie? What if inside they really want to be the best people eater ever and there's like an award and everything?

HB: I don't think that's likely.

Me: All I've got to say is that if I get bitten in the zombie apocalypse you better not shoot me in the face.

HB: If you get bitten, I am totally shooting you in the face.

Me: No, you're not. You're going to open the door and just let me go so I can be the best people eater there ever was.

HB: No, I'm not, that's kind of wrong.

Me: Yes, you are because that is called setting a goal. Don't be the person that holds me back from achieving my dreams.

HB: Fine. In a zombie apocalypse, if you get bitten I will open the door, shove you out and let you do your thing.

Me: Heck yes you will.

Weight Loss Advice from El Husbandito:

"Oh, just grow up and do cocaine like the rest of the adults."


I informed him I'd rather do meth because it's cheaper, but then he pointed out that "meth teeth" is a thing. So yeah, back to Weight Watchers, I suppose.

Here we go again...

This is the third reincarnation of this blog to date and I've yet to get it right. I think I've finally figured out what to write about though and am taking this blog a little less seriously than I have in the past. That's not to say that it won't be good. Oh no. I really mean that this time I'm going to have some fun with it and I'm going to update more than once or twice before pulling the plug. This is my new home on the internet and it will be full of things about my life, my interests, my projects, my style and the major changes I'm working on making in improving my happiness.

This year I will be turning 30 and this scares me a little bit. Not because of the number, but because of the things I haven't done yet. Let me explain a little bit. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This pretty much means that my reproductive hormones are all out of whack and things that come easy for most women, like having children and losing weight, are challenges. This year is pretty critical for me if I want to have children. According to my doctor, El Husbandito and I have less of a chance of having children once I'm 30 and beyond. Now, I'm not saying that once I turn 30 my girly parts will shrivel up and die, age 30 is more of a guideline age. The only bonus with this year being the year I turn 30 is that 13 has always been my lucky number and I feel pretty positive about things. So, there's that adventure I'm undertaking this year.

The subject of weight is a touchy subject for me and for most women. I'm going to come right out and say that I think that whatever weight a women is comfortable at is fine as long as she is happy and content and able to be herself without restrictions. I have met some beautiful women who are size 4 and some beautiful women who are size 24 and beyond. Having said that though, fat acceptance is not my life. Hypocritical, yes, but there's a reason. My weight is keeping me from having children and that is something I cannot accept in my life any longer because I desperately want to be someone's mother and build a family with my amazing husband.

So, my journey this year will be interesting. Hopefully I'll lose enough weight to become pregnant. We'll see. This blog won't just be about those two things though. I've also got a house that we're working on renovating and redecorating, and many other things to write about including thrifting, my fur-beasts, art projects and so much more.

Come join me, it's going to be one hell of a year.