My Plans for the Zombie Apocalypse

Me: You know how in most zombie related things when someone gets bitten, the rest of the group freaks out, waits for them to change and then shoots them?

Husband (HB): Yeah....

Me: Yeah, but that's not very sporting of them is it? I mean, You've just become a zombie and now you're dead because someone got a little scared.

HB: Scared for good reason, zombies eat people, that's what they do best.

Me: Okay, so if it's what they do best, then not giving them a chance is not only not very sporting, it's a little rude really.

HB: What?

Me: Well, imagine that you're a zombie and your goal is to be the most amazing eater of people there ever was, but oops, now you're not even going to get to try attain that goal because someone shot you in the face.

HB: Zombies are mindless, they don't have goals.

Me: How do you know? Are you a zombie? What if inside they really want to be the best people eater ever and there's like an award and everything?

HB: I don't think that's likely.

Me: All I've got to say is that if I get bitten in the zombie apocalypse you better not shoot me in the face.

HB: If you get bitten, I am totally shooting you in the face.

Me: No, you're not. You're going to open the door and just let me go so I can be the best people eater there ever was.

HB: No, I'm not, that's kind of wrong.

Me: Yes, you are because that is called setting a goal. Don't be the person that holds me back from achieving my dreams.

HB: Fine. In a zombie apocalypse, if you get bitten I will open the door, shove you out and let you do your thing.

Me: Heck yes you will.